The Importance of Speaking Clearly

Guest Blogger Alert! Amber has graciously allowed her husband (that's me) to share a classic story about Pumpkin Pie. Those close to us will really appreciate this, but everyone should get a kick out of it. I should also point out that Pumpkin Pie will kill me if she finds out I posted this.

Quick note...I intentionally misspelled two words below to prevent this post from popping up on a less than tasteful Google search.

I took Pumpkin Pie at a doctor appointment recently related to recurring headaches. While discussing various life events that can be tied to headaches, the subject of adolescence was broached. I stated that my wife and Pumpkin Pie had been talking the previous weekend and there are some early signs of that change in our daughter. At that point, Pumpkin Pie spoke up and said "Daddy, tell the doctor what you said about the pictures." Stumped, I asked her to explain because I really had no idea what she was talking about. She expounds, "You know, you said are going to have to find a place to hide all the pictures of the n@ked teen@ge boys. I'm not sure what you meant, but that's what you told mommy."

Now, let's step back in time for a moment...

The previous weekend, I awoke from a nap and my wife gave me the rundown of the conversation that she had with Pumpkin Pie about the signs of adolescence and about the changes she will start seeing. I have, of course, dreaded this day since my daughter's birth. My first comment upon hearing this was "I guess I'd better find a place to hide the bodies of all the boys that start coming around."

Maybe I was not speaking clearly because I just woke up or maybe she wasn't listening closely, but she obviously misunderstood my comment. Funnier still was that after I told the doctor the correct version of the story, Pumpkin Pie had a very confused look on her face and said "I still don't get it." Of course, I am in no hurry to explain it to her and her doctor simply stated that it meant daddy was trying to keep her safe. All the while the doctor and I have blood in our mouths from biting our tongues to keep from laughing.